


From the Files of Rita Skeeter

by sophh



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Rita Skeeter - Freeform, news article, sensationalist journalism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29714712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophh/pseuds/sophh
Summary: A series of articles written by our favoriteDaily Prophetreporter, about our favorite couple!
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley
Comments: 21
Kudos: 29
Collections: Fremione Fanatics Spring Scenes Flash Fest





	1. Harry Potter's Ex Finds Love At Last?

**Author's Note:**

> A fun little collection I'm starting in honor of the [Fremione Fanatics Spring Scenes Flash Fest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FremioneFanaticsSpringScenesFlashFest)!

**HARRY POTTER'S EX FINDS LOVE AT LAST?**

Many of you may recall the exploits of one Hermione Granger, the plain but ambitious ex-girlfriend of reader-favourite Harry Potter. Back in 1994, Miss Granger captivated the nation with her dalliances with—not one, but _two_ —famous wizards: Harry and Bulgarian Seeker Viktor Krum. Of course, both relationships ended in heartbreak. I covered Harry's suffering quite thoroughly in my weekly column, so don't hesitate to re-read if you're in need of a refresher! 

Why do I bring this up, you may ask? Well, it seems Miss Granger's love life is heating up again. After an amicable split from Ronald Weasley, Harry Potter's best friend, it appears the cunning Miss Granger has set her sights on _another_ Weasley. She must have a thing for red hair, in addition to her preference for well-known wizards...

I imagine this news has already caused a great deal of shock with my readers, what with most of that immeasurable brood married off in some form or fashion. However, I regret to inform you that the Weasley in question is not spoken for, as far as my sources can attest. No, Miss Granger's new beau appears to be none other than Frederick Gideon Weasley, one-half of the proprietors of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. 

The two lovebirds were spotted canoodling in Diagon Alley. When asked how long they have been an item, Miss Granger's reply was rather brusque: "No comment." I wonder how Harry and Ronald feel, seeing their ex with a close friend (I have it on good authority that Harry helped fund the startup of WWW) and brother. Are they over Miss Granger or is this news a stab to the heart for them? I'll have more on their reactions next week, so be sure to check back!


	2. Has Weasley Had His Wicked Way?

**THE WEASLEY/GRANGER ROMANCE: HAS WEASLEY HAD HIS WICKED WAY?**

Judging by the response to my previous article, many of you are simply _devastated_ for our saviour, the Boy Who Lived himself, Harry Potter. The news that Harry's ex-girlfriend, Hermione Granger, has dipped her toe into the dating pool once more sent readers into a tizzy. I have received numerous owls on the subject, and I hope to receive many more after my latest scoop. 

Last week, I reported that Miss Granger appeared to be in a relationship with one Frederick Weasley. Well, readers, it seems that our lovebirds are even more serious than any of us could have imagined! Just yesterday, Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley were seen entering Weasley's Wizard Wheezes at a very late hour. Now, for those of you unaware of the sinful implications of that sentence, let me fill you in: there is a flat above the shop where Mr. Weasley lives ( _alone,_ I might add, now that brother George is married). My source tells me that Miss Granger did not leave the premises until 9 AM the next morning, which certainly supports the idea that those two had a sleepover of the adult variety. 

But now, the real news that everyone has been waiting for: What do the other two-thirds of the so-called Golden Trio think? How do they feel about seeing their ex with another, _older_ man? Has it brought forth feelings of inadequacy? Resentment? I asked them all of these burning questions, but unfortunately, had the proverbial door slammed in my face. Their unwillingness to speak to me is _very_ telling, however, if I do say so myself. 

What's next for the couple that has everyone talking? Only they know for sure, but you can count on me to get you the latest and greatest updates on their blossoming romance! 


	3. Viktor Krum Weighs In

**VIKTOR KRUM WEIGHS IN**

I would like to begin this week's column by apologising for a heinous oversight. Parvati Patil, a long-time reader—and, incidentally, former classmate of the Golden Trio—was quick to point out that I hadn't considered Viktor Krum's feelings in all of this. A sincere thank you to Miss Patil for alerting me to this  egregious  omission.

In order to rectify my mistake, I immediately sought out Mr. Krum and asked him his thoughts on the Weasley/Granger situation. He pretended that he couldn't understand me at first, but as you all know, I am nothing if not persistent in my quest for the truth. Eventually, the hunky Bulgarian and former world-famous Seeker was forced to admit that he felt "very confused" by Miss Granger's choice in a partner. 

So there you have it, folks: Viktor Krum is none too happy to hear of his ex-flame's new beau. Poor chap. He never can seem to catch a break, can he? His short-lived relationship with Miss Granger notwithstanding, he has also suffered  _ two _ major losses at the World Cup, first in 1994 and then again in 2002. Armed with that knowledge, it is perhaps not so surprising that the woman deemed the Brightest Witch of Her Age dumped him unceremoniously several years back. Nobody likes a loser, after all.

Now, I leave my faithful readers with an important question: What do you think the Weasley/Granger portmanteau should be? The most logical thing would be to combine their first names, as "Weasley" could refer to any number of red-haired, freckled men. I have been toying with the idea of "Fremione." It's simple and to the point. Let me know your thoughts! 

Stay tuned for more on this unlikely new power couple. I expect to have some  _ very  _ juicy updates for you _very_ soon! 


End file.
